What does Responsible Mean?

What does responsible mean to you? For some reason I am challenged by this word. I know that I am responsible for me. I am responsible for my healing, for my growth, for my lessons, for my success. I am responsible for it all. That is really scary to me.

I looked the word up and the second definition said "being the cause of something, usually something wrong or disapproved of". WOW. Another Aha Moment. Here's another belief for me to release. I remember hearing the word "responsible" as a child and that is exactly how it was used it. No wonder I feel resistance to it. I've made a lot of mistakes and those mistakes...I know I am responsible for BUT there are a lot of really wonderful things I've done in life too! I am also responsible for them. That's the part I need to embrace. That's the part I want to create more of in my life.

You see, responsible also means being reliable, accountable, needing qualities like conscientiousness and trustworthiness. These words feel much better to me. It's amazing what's in a word AND what beliefs can be hiding behind those words.

We are all responsible for our own lives. Nobody else is. We are responsible for our success and our failure, our lessons and what we learn from them, how we grow, what we release and when, etc. The only thing that can prevent me from having all the abundance available to me...is me. Plain and simple.

I am choosing to be responsible - reliable, accountable, conscientious, and trustworthy. I am ready for all the Universe has in store for me. No holding back. It's time to embrace all that is good - for each and every one of us.

Are you ready?

Tears and Resistence

As I prepare to leave for my week in Arizona (family vacation for a few days - retreat for a few), I am aware of a mixture of emotions that have been surfacing for a while but are stronger now. I am so excited to have some time away with my family and as well as alone. I am also so excited to go to this retreat and yet, I am terrified of what it will mean for me. I know there are beliefs and identities that need to be shed, released, revamped and I feel it's time.

I have felt like April would be a big month for me for a long time - a life changing month. A couple of weeks ago, I received a message: "April Showers Bring May Flowers". I took this to mean, doing the work, cleansing my heart and my soul, would bring great things. Still...

I am afraid of the unknown.
What will replace these beliefs and identities?
I have NO idea.
That is really scary.

What I do know is that some things aren't working as well as they could in my life. I want less clutter, less clutter in my mind and less clutter in my home. I want more love, more time, more connection, more money, more joy. I want to be abundant in all that is good and supports me. Do we all want that??

Setting aside all that is frightening to me, what I do know is I will be surrounded by loving and supportive people. I know I trust in the process and my inner voice. Wish me luck! I'll check in as time allows.